‘I call you friends because I have made known to you everything I have learnt from my Father’ (John 15:15)
Introduction
Let us begin by saying a heartfelt ‘Thank You to God’ for His mercies and blessings, and then renew our commitment as Religious to serve Him faithfully. Serving God is a wonderful privilege and not a duty for Christians who realized what God has done for them and who appreciates what a future reward God has in store for them.
X-raying the World we live and work in
Today, there is lot of unhappiness in the world. We see much poverty and suffering around the villages and cities; stagnation in the country, the growing situation of war and violence, indiscriminate abductions and kidnapping have led to economic collapse, human rights abuse, refugees and internally displaced persons, increased numbers of disabled people, orphans, widows, helpless and recklessly provoked unemployed youth and the scourge of HIV/AIDS which is no longer epidemic nor pandemic, but endemic in our society all over the world.
Fundamental Questions
The vital questions before us as Religious living Community life in a world that is increasingly becoming individualistic and selfish are: what values do we stand for and what modern strategies do we employ to face these challenges bearing in mind the sensibilities of religious, traditional and cultural differences? what do we do about a friend who treats us badly? What do we do about a friend who acts in clearly unfriendly ways? What do we do about a community member who is difficult and constantly rude? These are big issues that seems so prevalent in our communities and poses big questions that appears on people’s minds.
Friendship with God
Let us turn to our relationship with God. Our lives are precious gift from a loving God, and we have a splendid and a glorious destiny as we journey to the Father. As Christians the greatest gift we possess is the gift to love. It is a miserable and horrible experience not to feel loved and accepted anywhere. How comforting it is to know that Jesus loves us and calls us His friends; ‘You are my friends if you do what I command you’ (John 15:14). Jesus is the friend who will never, ever turn against you, and will always comfort you. He comforted many who felt left out, isolated, despised, unloved, abandoned and rejected and He will assist us walk the miles and bear the load. Jesus is our good friend because when we are tired and weak, depressed and frustrated, He gives us courage, hope and inspiration
We could know lots of facts about God - read from Religious Books, pray the Creed, recite the commandments, memorize the Bible, yet we might not have a loving and trusting relationship with him. In fact, there is a vast difference between knowing about God and knowing God. Even the devils believe in God and yet do not love Him.
Our choice
Generally, life offers us many opportunities to Love or hate and what we make of it depends on our choice. I want to believe that friendship is one of the most rewarding gifts anyone can have. God invites us into a relationship that is authentic, true and real. There is always a thirst in every human heart. We are searching for something that will satisfy all our longings. The only problem is we often search in the wrong places. For those who have encountered Christ, the search is over; and this encounter can happen at any time and any place. Let us present at this moment to Jesus the wounded areas of our lives, our friends, our families, communities, and all those who suffer depression for forgiveness and healing. I strongly believe that there is no limit to what we can do when we trust God, work and pray together.
Who are Acquaintances?
Most people have lots of acquaintances but only a few close friends. Acquaintances are people whom we know a lot of facts about – where they live, What work they do, we exchange greetings when we meet and usually it does not go beyond that. We deal with them artificially, mechanically and casually.
Who are Good Friends?
The Holy Bible reminds friends to carry each other burdens (Galatians 6:2). You know a lots facts about them, yes, but a whole lot more as well. Walter Winchell said it best: ‘A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.’ You meet and stop to chat; you want to spend time with them, you share experiences and secrets; confide in them and also ask for advice, they build, encourage, appreciate, motivate and also compassionately tell you the truth about yourself. They care about each other and are careful not to offend; they treat each other with warmth and gentleness.
Who are Bad and Toxin friends?
They are constantly rude making insensitive comment and unkind accusation,, not appreciative and supportive; they keep so many uncharitable thoughts about friends, neighbor and community members; they judge, condemn, give harsh criticism, put you down, drain your life for their own gain, suffocate you, and choke your abilities, they are deceitful and dishonest, and you get emotionally drained in their presence. They betray and backstab and disappear when the going gets tough and rough. Beware of them! Keep healthy and positive friends to build you up and challenge you to grow. The following healthy friendship Questions and Tips for ending a bad friendship taken from the Messenger of St. Anthony September 2010 may be helpful to you:
Questions to ask
· Do you feel positively great when you are with an individual?
· Is this a person who lift you up or load you down?
· Is there equality in listening and supporting each other?
· Is this friend truly empathetic
· Can you count on him/her in any circumstances?
· Do you share the same vision and worldview?
· Does he/she knows her bounds and limits?
Ending a Friendship
When you become certain a friendship no longer works for you consider taking these three steps of ending it.
· Do it gradually. Let your friendship end slowly, not through words but through actions. Don’t respond as quickly to calls, text messages and emails. Decline invitations. Distance yourself little by little
· Do it in person. Try yourself to have a conversation with friend indicating you’d rather spend less time together. Do this face-to-face, if that is just too uncomfortable, do it by phone. Do your best to be non-accusatory and non-judgmental. Don’t go into details
· Do it with maturity and respect. Always be mindful you are dealing with another human being who has feelings. No matter what may have transpired, be kind and compassionate. When ending a friendship apply this Biblical instruction: ‘Be kind and compassionate to one another.’ (Ephesians 4:32).
Conclusion
Well then, we conclude by saying that the good news for us is that Jesus is that Good friend who wants us to know that we are absolutely unique, and wants to comfort us and share our joys and sorrows. He wants to get to know us and spend time with us. He wants to liberate and change our mentality from drug, alcohol, tobacco, money, pleasure and material dependency to God dependency. He wants this relationship to grow stronger and deeper in love. Would we accept and let Him in? The choice is ours today!
Rev. Fr. Michael Adefemi Adegbola, Director Media Service Centre, Kaduna Nigeria
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