BENEFITS OF POSITIVE HUMAN RELATIONSHIP

Introduction

God is a God of relationship. He constantly invites us into a relationship that is authentic, true and real (ATR). We must make efforts not to leave God out of our relationships by merely looking and seeking for human solutions even in the midst of our painful situations for healing as we walk in the centre of His will.

Benefits of positive human relationship

Human relationships at all levels with the self, others, society and God be it in friendship, dating, courtship or marriage are naturally most essential to life. It accompanying benefits are as follows:

Ø  It supplies love and affection

Ø  Provides emotional support and loyalty

Ø  Guarantees stability and security

Ø  Supplies companionship and friendship

Ø  Satisfies material and psychological needs and fulfilment.

It can be an elevating and enriching experience if pursued positively, but also can be as difficult and most horrifying as we make it if lived negatively, causing discomfort, heartache and frustration. The power lies within us to make our choice and we have to look in the right direction.

The need for human intimacy

Yes, psychologists have established and shown that naturally seeking for physical, intellectual and emotional closeness with others is a fundamental need of most people. The need for intimacy, to love and feel loved, to express comradeship, to care and be cared about are basic feelings that characterizes many human relationships at all levels. Intimacy according to Frank D. Cox in his book, Human Intimacy, Marriage, the family, and its meaning combines six essential processes:

• Communication of personal feelings
• Acceptance of personal limitations
• Respect for personal feelings
• Affirmation of one another
• Sharing hurts and fears of being hurt
• Forgiveness of errors.

Conditions for making right choices

Life is a series of choices and it is really difficult to make the right choices and wise decisions when we are hurting, angry, confused, unforgiving, resentful and bitter. But we can if we choose to believe that God is in control and trust that He will inspire us to look in the right direction and bring something valuable out of our confusion. When two people like each order and make overtures toward establishing a closer relationship, they have made a choice. As the relationship develops and confidence grows, it nurtures acceptance and trust, increases sharing, appreciation and profound delight in each other. Indeed, positively seeking friendship and intimacy with the other can be a highly rewarding experience.

Obstacles and Barriers to human relationship

Intimate and positive human relationship involves active involvement with and interest in progress and growth of the other partner. However, this can be hampered by seemingly possible obstacles and barriers enumerated as follows:

• The risk and fear of rejection
• Anger leading to growing hostility
• Non-acceptance of ourselves for who we are
• The tendency to merely play roles to please others as conditioned by the society which teaches us be spectators and to deny our feelings
• Unexpressed, suppressed, denied and disguised anger tends to destroy healthy relationships. Mutual relationship implies sincere openness between friend, and lack of it implies mutual suspicion and distrust of the other.

Today, we seem to be walking on troubled waters as many pressures, tensions, communication breakdowns and frustrations arise in human and social life which generally affects the quality of our relationships with ourselves, God and the society. It makes me very sad to see human relationships crumble and broken to a deplorable and pitiable level in the society. It seems pathetic that human beings so marvellously created in God’s image should be negligent towards developing and building quality relationships based upon character, true love, honour, dignity, mutual respect and acceptance, understanding, tolerance, loyalty, justice and peace.

So many today reject and behave insensitively to themselves, and as a result become obstinate and dissatisfied with the quality of their life and relationships, leaving them in perpetual guilt, shame and disgrace; Numerous friendship, courtship and marriage relationships have turned sour and bitter and has become strain and suspicious. Relationships which once began with noble ideals of love, joy, peace, acceptance and optimism now degenerate into rejection, anger, distrust, and self-pity in some cases; What a traumatic reality creating deep and lasting wounds not only on the partners and couples, but also on the family and the larger society.

Challenges of focusing on quality relationships

Therefore, making time to focus on positive human relationships is important, and learning how to improve upon it is absolutely vital. It is good for us to respect, cherish and care about the way we relate with ourselves, with our neighbours, with nature, God and the society. In our world of shifting values, young people will definitely have lots of difficult questions which must be welcomed and entertained even when we don’t have all the answers. We should show great respect and sympathy to this vital issues and questions and not to discard them as useless and unattractive. Though we may fail and woefully regret with our miserable human circumstances and with no sign of improvement in our relationships, we must have great faith even in the midst of our disappointment and pain and trust in God who alone can fulfil our heart desires and change them to match His will. Through prayer and the grace of God, we can thrive spiritually and stay close to Jesus in this shifting cultures. Nothing works better than simply falling in love with Jesus and living out our passion for Him.

Conclusion

In conclusion, may I challenge you to remember that God wants us to be young people with positive desires, passions and expectations that are noble, empowering, motivating and enriching. God who is sovereign and good is the source of our relationship. He wants the very best for us and never makes a mistake because His ways are perfect and beyond human comprehension. So, seek God’s ways, follow His paths and let your relationship be anchored on Him.

Rev. Fr. Michael Adefemi Adegbola, Director Media Service Centre Kaduna Nigeria 2011

THE DECEPTION AND DANGERS OF PORNOGAPHY

Introduction

Let us make no mistake about it. This is a very serious issue. It is an issue so many deal with but so few want to discuss, and as a result leave many tough questions untouched and unanswered. Sexuality is a creative power that must be rightly channeled or it may turn into a source of enslavement, frustration and destruction. Sexual temptation and sexual lust are having increasing impact in the lives of Christians men, women and youth in modern times. This has unfortunately destroyed families by crushing the self-esteem of wives, enslaving husbands, damaging youth and diminishing the marriage relationship. The Holy Bible commands us to flee youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22). We are deeply concerned about so many involved in this destructive industry. The question is how can we find victory over pornography? How can we cultivate the willingness to confront it bravely? How can we challenge it spiritually, and spur people on in their spiritual growth? God’s desire is for all of us to be victorious in times of temptation.

The New World of Pornography

Today, we have numerous sexually orientated businesses around the world. Our people are engaged in sexual immorality by buying pornographic videos, calling phone sex lines, and spending time in pornographic websites on the internet. Today, video stores rent and sell titles that wouldn’t have even been permitted in stores a few years ago; nowadays business men and women are invited to discuss business deals at deceitfully special gentlemen and lady clubs; internet-linked homes provide the most tantalizing pornography with just a few mouse clicks; we see on line pornography, pseudo-cyber world of chat rooms where men and women reveal their sexual fantasies to each other and pornographic magazines and books. This is a new world of porn that our families and peoples are drawn to. It is not a pleasant world.

We must not ignore or neglect it, but confront it courageously. We must admit that while the very thought of porn is repulsive to many, yet it could be attractively so addictive to men. Yes, men are visual beings and God created this sexual desire in us – a desire created by God, but perverted by man. Our sons carry on our addictions into the next generation; and our daughters easily learn that the way to man’s heart is through seduction and sex. We give in to lustful passions and engage in sexual immorality invariably leading to sexual addiction by patronizing sexually oriented businesses, buying pornographic materials and spending time in dangerous pornographic websites on the internet.

The Communication Media and Pornography

The Document of the Pontifical Council for Social Communications merits attention here. Nos. 10 and 18 speaks about Pornography and Violence in the Communications Media: a Pastoral Response. The Communication media (Books, magazines, recordings, cinema, theatre, television, video cassettes, advertising). It states that the media which can be such  effective instrument of information, education and enrichment, can also sometimes be the vehicle of a deformed outlook on life, on the family and on morality. ‘Pornography and sadistic violence debase sexuality, corrode human relationships, exploit individuals especially women and young people, undermine marriage and family life, foster anti-social behavior and weaken the moral fibre of society itself.’ Willing participation in the production or dissemination of these noxious products therefore can only be judged a serious moral evil. Those who use such materials not only do harm to themselves, but also gradually render themselves numb and insensitive to the dignity and rights of others.[1] While no one is immune to the corrupting effects of pornography and violence, the young and immature are especially vulnerable and most likely to be victimized. Pornography in the Media can condition impressionable young  person to regard this as normal and acceptable behavior, suitable for imitation. Therefore, Christian Communicators, Legislators, Churches, Schools, Parents and Teachers of religion and ethical subjects are challenge to increase their efforts to promote the positive and creative use of the media and inculcate the social and ethical values needed for it

Modern Challenges

1.       Rationalization and relativization of  sin: We say it does not concern us. ‘Sure I look at pornography, but there are a whole bunch of folks who are doing things a lot worse. And who among us is really pure anyway?’ That sounds funny anyway. When our children use the ‘everyone is doing it argument’, we usually fuss at them. ‘Sure I look at porn, but it does not involve actual contact with a woman’. Yes, Computer-enhanced women work quite well too. Even if we are not buying pornography, it is polluting the environment where our children are being raised. Pornography is apparently becoming a destructive influence in Nigeria and must be controlled by the law. If we don’t control it, then it will eventually consume us.

2.       Nakedness: Indecent and immodest dressing, fashion and dances which attract attention, arouse sexual passion, and provoke sexual desire. Pornography is intended to affect behavior. Some men will say they enjoy looking at porn, but are not affected by it. This is not true and how can we help them out of this deceptive trap? Remember, lust is sin, and sin grieves the heart of God. God didn’t give us lust. Lust is the perversion of sexual desires. It is no respecter of persons and it never gives up. It never satisfies and always leaves you wanting more. So, beware of lust!

3.       The challenge to avoid vulgar, foul, impure and indecent filthy talks (Ephesians 5:3f)

4.       Beware of Sexual fantasies which include all images, mental pictures, unchaste thoughts, day dreams, imaginations, touches, dressing of an erotic nature; and the deliberate enjoyment of actions in the imagination which are immoral – rape, incest, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality (Exodus 22:9; Leviticus 20:15f); and pedophilia which are all offences against chastity. Research has revealed that to many Christian Men have replaced the desire for their wives with porn and adult entertainment. How do we check and moderate this? Although, many involved in the adult entertainment industry are popularly called dancers, models and  super stars;. They are our sisters and brothers; our aunties and uncles; and God’s children created in his image.

5.       The challenge to Bachelors and Spinsters – St. Paul tell us to flee the youthful lust (2Tim 2:22). Once addicted, it does not end at the altar, it gets worse. The deeper we dig the pit, the harder it is to get out. Today, lives of play boys, senior girls, strippers, prostitutes and impressionable young stars have been devastated by porn. In his book, The Silent War, ministering to those trapped in the deception of Pornography, Henry Rogers rightly pointed out that our generation have learned to play with words. The deception begins by playing with the English Language. We are calling evil ‘good’. Clubs where men go to fulfill their lust by watching women strip are called ‘gentlemen’s Club’. The Clubs are no place for gentlemen at all.[2] No one tells his wife he is going to a strip club. Going to a Gentleman’s Club, however sounds prestigious.

The Great Battle

It is not a new battle. Pornography has been around for centuries. However, it has taken a new dimension and complexity because of modern sophistications and revolution in the world of communications. In our sex-saturated society, we move with pornography, carry it on our mobile sets and lab- tops, and think porn. Today, we are bombarded by sexual messages, images, fantasies, magazines, videos and literatures.

Apparently, this culture has given us a license to lust. Yet within our hearts as Christians, a battle is raging in the war against sexual temptation and lust. Porn has ruin the lives of many people, children molesters and the lives of innocent children. Yes, many have lost the battle, and many more will lose the battle in days to come; but fighting the battle is not beyond our hope.

·         The financial opportunity for pornographers is too great

·         Satan’s determination to destroy the family is unrelenting. In an industry where indiscriminate and reckless sex is the order of the day, disease leaves its mark. The world now encourages the use of condoms because so many performers have tested HIV positive or have contracted AIDS.

·         It is a battle we must fight; it is a battle that we can win; it is a battle we must win

·         We may continue to face temptations and experience defeat, but the fight is not over. It is God’s will that we be victorious (1 Thess. 4:3-5)

·          Don’t keep this destructive industry alive and flourishing. I am sure that if Christian men would not put a cent into porn industry, we could cripple it. But we are pouring money into this destructive industry to keep it blossoming. It is time for us to resolutely stop it

·          Knowing about the problem is not enough, we need a  battle plan for victory

·          God is faithful and this is great news. He will not abandon us in the midst of our temptations. God will provide a way of escape. He is with us every step of the way. He will guarantee victory to every battle weary soldier who call upon His name.

True Confessions and a wake- up call

In her book, An affair of the Mind Laurie Hall wrote, ‘I saw my husband lose his soul to pornography. I have held other women and listened to them weep as they told me how their husbands also lost their souls to pornography. Pornography kills the soul, steals the heart, and destroys the mind. Pornography is not a victimless crime.[3] As our exposure to pornography increases, so is our sexual appetite. To a man struggling with sexual temptation, X-rated films and videos are devastating. It’s obviously painful that Porn has become a passport to end of many marriages. It exposes people to physical abuse, group sex, increases appetite for women – one, two or three may never even be enough, and might cause a great deal of psychic trauma centered around peoples sex and marital life. There is no doubt that pornography play a role in the corruption of our culture and pornographic magazines destroys marriages. Indeed, the battle is becoming more intense and we must stand up to it.

Another pastor confessed his spiritual struggle and experience with video seduction. ‘I rationalized viewing discreet sex and partial nudity. I thought I was mature enough to handle this. There is nothing wrong with merely viewing these things. I am not the one doing them. Yet deep within my heart, I knew I was guilty.’ ‘On a Saturday night, I went to a video shop, intending to get a family movie. But I found myself laying three dollars on the counter for an X-rated movie. It’s just curiosity, not lust, I told myself. Perhaps as a Christian leader I should be aware of what the world is consuming. What I saw was ugly. The film degraded men and women. The beauty of human sexuality as God designed it and as I had experienced it in marriage was absent. I felt empty, cheated and defeated.’[4]

Conclusion

Pornography is not just a problem for those in the secular world. Christian men, women and youth struggle with it too. We must become aware about the deceptions and dangers pornography and fight vehemently against it to avoid further tragic casualty and damages in the war against sexual temptation and lust. The good news is that there is a path to victory. Though we might be trapped and the temptation overpowering, if we draw nearer to God and live by gospel values, He will protect and deliver us (James 4:8); and we would overcome the incredible shame, disgrace and guilt that sexual lust brings to us. God will be with us in the midst of the fight.

Rev. Fr. Michael Adefemi Adegbola, Director, Media Service Centre Kaduna Nigeria, 2011

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[1] Pontifical Council for Social Communication, Pornography and Violence in the Communication Media: a Pastoral Response, May 7, 1989 (Vatican Polyglot Press, 1989), nos. 10 & 18

[2] Henry J. Rogers, The Silent War, Ministering to those Trapped in the Deception of Pornography, New Leaf Press, Inc USA, 2000.

[3] Laurie Hall, An Affair of the Mind (Colorado Springs, CO: Focus on the family Publishing, 1996), p.68

[4] ‘Video Seduction’ Moody Magazine, March 1995

CO - PARENTING WITH GOD

‘If the Lord does not build the house, the work of the builders is useless…Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a real blessing’ Psalm 127:1;3

Introduction

Parenting is not an easy business. The Lord has given parents a very special vocation. They are the bearers of life, and during our formative years, they shape every aspect of who we will become. That is why the fifth commandment of God instructs us to honor our fathers and mothers, with a promise of blessing to those who do so (Exodus 20:12). We are certainly blessed when we honor our parents. Our parents lives too will be enhanced and blessed when they receive the assurance that they are loved and appreciated by their children. Parents, when it comes to raising of kids and forming and shaping the minds of children, do not try to go it alone. With the help of God and obedience to His values, you can create an environment where your children can flourish and grow into everything God intends for each one of them to be. The almighty Creator who knit your children in the womb (Psalm 139:13) and has numbered the hairs on their heads (Matthew 10:30)’ holds the blueprint for their lives. So no matter what our struggle may be, parents can hold on to the promises of God that, ‘they can do all things through Him who strengthens them’ (Phil.4:13).

The fundamental Questions:

Here are some specific vital questions we can use to evaluate our own spiritual health and vitality:

v  Do we trust God totally with our lives?

v  Do we trust God totally with our homes and families?

v  Do we trust God totally with our marriage?

v  Do we trust God totally with our children?

v  Do we trust God totally with our work?

v  Do we trust God totally with our finances and future?

v  Do we trust God to equip us for this great parental responsibility?

v  Do our children learn what it means to love God with all their hearts, soul, mind and strength when they look at us?

v  Do they see us turning to God when anxious, troubled or ill?

v  Do they see us trusting God for guidance and wisdom as we plan the future, run our business and manage our homes?

v  Do they know that prayer is an important part of our life?

v  Do they see us leaving out our commitment to Christ by spending time reading and studying the Bible?

v  Do we trust God to help us discipline our children? While discipline without love usually leads to rebellion, discipline with love is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to our children. Parents must take a stand, and set some boundaries. Tell their children what behavior are and are not acceptable; why you would not allow them to drink, smoke, or use drugs; Establish standards and spell out the punishment for breaking the rules.

Power to build and tear down

Parenthood is a great honor and privilege. In giving us children, God places us in position of both leadership and service. We have the power to build up our children and our spouses – or to tear them down. Through our words of affirmation, prayers, and parental hugs, kisses, we show how much we value them. Demonstrating godly love strengthens the people who are most precious to us. We really need to help our children to grow into people of honor and character (Proverb 3:12). No matter what we are facing at the moment, God can transform our family pessimistic attitudes and change our negative dispositions. For if our eyes are on the Lord, we will never lack reasons to rejoice and be thankful for our lives, wives, husbands, children and relatives. You must have experienced times of abandonment just when you needed that person the most; it could have been a spouse withdrawing emotionally, a close brother who ignored us, or a close husband or wife who seemed too busy to help. Do not be discouraged even in these situations. Remember that the Lord is always with you. He is the supreme example of grace, generosity and love for parents to emulate. Seeking His guidance and direction is absolutely important for us parents. Running ahead and manipulating circumstances can be a costly mistake.

Building a legacy of Faith that will endure

In his article ‘Will Your Children Inherit Your Faith?, Dr. Charles Stanley notes that the most valuable assets we have as believers and Christian parent is our faith. Children observe our faith by the lifestyle we live. However, observation has shown that family anxiety is reaching epidemic proportions in our culture. Yet as Christians, we are commanded not to worry (Luke 12:22). We can pass on doubt, frustration, fear and unbelief – or we can give them steadfast faith.

A parent who preaches the Bible but does not live by it teaches her children they cannot trust God. Our children need to see us trusting God day after day; family prayer is essential to building solid faith into our children’s lives. If you don’t pray as a family please start today. Parents need to participate in their children’s life by taking part in their hurts and failures, and tell them our own stories of pain and disappointment.

A recent survey of college students revealed that the thing they dislike most about their parents is their inability to admit when they are wrong. If we want our children to say ‘sorry’ and ask for forgiveness, we must be willing to do the same. Our children deserve a faith legacy that will endure. We must start building it today! Remember that each step of faith, each acts of hope, each word of prayer we say as parents bring our children closer to God. So we have to learn to live each day with an expectation of God’s plan unfolding before our eyes in this pilgrimage through life.

Advice to Christian Parents

ü  Christian parents must understand that they are not immune to facing family difficulties and problems.

ü  So they have to realize the need to make the Lord Jesus Christ to be at the centre of every husband and wife relationship.

ü  They must stress the importance of knowing Jesus Christ personally

ü  Love your children and create time for them. Ignorance can be parent’s worst enemy. Certain signs warrant your immediate attention to talk to your children and to take action before addiction begins. Some of these signs are: Truancy, vandalism, promiscuous sexual behavior, hostility and rebellion toward those in authority (parents, teachers, Church, etc.), staying out all night, increase in mysterious phone calls at odd times, verbal abusiveness, stealing and shoplifting, involvement in fights at school, lack of communication with family, unexplained increase in spending and a host of others

ü   pray for their children and ask God for wisdom to guide them to handle each of their problems

ü  Though your children may disappoint you by not living up to your standards of conduct, love them unconditionally and be there for them any way

ü  Admit your mistakes to them and learn from them. Model godly values and behavior.

ü  Children need home to be a refuge from the pressures they face in school and society, so provide a solid foundation with Christ in your home, and the Lord will supply the answers and strength you need to get through the difficulties and problems you are facing in your family.

Conclusion

The family, though small is the first and most important social unit in every society. It is the basic unit within which human life is brought forth and nurtured. It is indeed very significant to the development, progress and stability of the society. The Code of Canon law succinctly states that: “Parents have the most grave obligation and primary right to do all in their power to ensure their children’s physical, social, cultural, moral and religious upbringing.”[1] Finally, since our children are God’s masterpiece created in Christ for the great work He has planned for them, parent should actively help them build a God-centered self-image. From the moment of birth, parents need to teach them that their personal value and worth is rooted in who they are in God’s eyes, and not in what they do or  what they wear. Our parental goal should be to teach our children the way God want them to live, and model godliness in our own lives. Whatever you do, do not let this day end without communicating how much you cherish your wife, husband, children, brothers and sisters. Tell everyone you are very grateful for all they have done to make you a child of God. Our children deserve a faith legacy that will endure. We must start building it today!

Rev. Fr. Michael Adefemi Adegbola, Director Media Service Centre writes from Kaduna, Nigeria 2011

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[1] Code of Canon Law No. 1136

YOUTH RELATIONSHIP, EMPLOYMENT CHALLENGES AND FINDING GOD’S WILL

Introduction

God is a God of relationship and communion. He constantly invites us into a relationship that is authentic, true and real (ATR). We must make efforts not to leave God out of our relationships by merely looking and seeking for human solutions even in the midst of our painful situations for healing as we walk in the centre of His will. Therefore, making time to focus on positive human relationships is important, and learning how to improve upon it is absolutely vital. It is good for us to respect, cherish and care about the way we relate with ourselves, with our neighbors, with nature, God and the society. In our world of shifting values, young people will definitely have lots of difficult questions which must be welcomed and entertained even when we don’t have all the answers. We should show great respect and sympathy to this vital issues and questions and not to discard them as useless and unattractive.

Benefits of positive human relationship

Human relationships at all levels with the self, others, society and God be it in friendship, dating, courtship or marriage are naturally most essential to life. It accompanying benefits are as follows:

Ø  It supplies love and affection

Ø  Provides emotional support and loyalty

Ø  Guarantees stability and security

Ø  Supplies companionship and friendship

Ø  Satisfies material and psychological needs and fulfillment.

It can be an elevating and enriching experience if pursued positively, but also can be as difficult and most horrifying as we make it if lived negatively, causing discomfort, heartache and frustration. The power lies within us to make our choice and we have to look in the right direction.

Our Dreams, Hopes and Goals

Children and youth all have Dreams, Hopes, and Goals. A sad number of people give up on their Dreams and quit prematurely. Do not be among that group. Do not permit difficulty, discomfort or discouragement to deter you from your hopes and goals.

·         Pursue them consistently, persistently and perseveringly

·         Be encouraged

·         Be inspired

·         Be motivated

·         Be empowered and

·         Be supported to carry on.

First, it is important to know that the Lord does have a plan for each of our lives. When we operate within its boundaries, we soon discover His will for the many situations we face. Living within the will of God requires something from each one of us, to yield our lives through personal surrender to God. So the question is do you trust God with your life? Your relationship? Your Job? Your home? Your career? Your marriage? Your finances? Your future? The surrender to God is our standard as Christian Youth after the heart of Jesus Christ. Faced with a certain death, Jesus prayed, ‘Not my will, but Yours be done’ (Luke 22:42). When you surrender to God, you no longer choose to live your life for yourself; instead, you are deciding to live the way He has chosen for you.

Parental  Desires and Questions

Parents desire the very best for their children. They often wonder what it will be like for their children growing up in today’s world with all its trappings and complexities. Will they make good choices and decisions as they pass through the earthquake of modernity with all its confused values? What kinds of pressures will they face in school and among their friends? Will they buy into any of the messages pounded into them by popular music and media? Will they be part of the minority that say no to premarital sex, substance abuse, depression and the host of other problems that have woven themselves into the fabric of today’s youth culture? Will they be healthy? Parents have the fundamental duty to make the spiritual health and development of their children their primary goal because this is all important to the future lives and happiness of their children.

Employment Challenges

Shaped by society and its institutions, the youth today find it easier to be where everyone else is. They negatively go with the flow and grow to be adults whose personal sense of right and wrong hinges on what everybody else is doing ‘Crowd mentality’. What then are the employment challenges in a world that sends different message and call our youth to follow its ways? A random survey I conducted recently revealed that practically all the Nigerian youth express a desire for a stable and secure future; for wealth and prestige and also to obtain position of leadership and have chance to influence government policies. Hence the need for their empowerment. According to the Hand book of Children and the Media, youth aggressive behavior patterns and perception are a mirror of what they experience in their real environment—frustration, aggression, unemployment and problematic circumstances.[1] Some of the employment and admission challenges in Nigeria include:

§  Lack of Job

§  lack of good merit system

§  Favoritism

§  Tribalism

§  god fatherism

§  Quota system

§   war of names

§  war of numbers and compromising values.

How do we find God’s Will?

With so many changes in our world today, people everywhere are asking, ‘How do I find God’s will for my Life?’ College graduates who had planned to enter a career are finding it is almost impossible to get work and employment. Businessmen and women are challenged to compromise values and ethics for profit capitalization; Our people and masses are generally losing their homes and vocations, and in the midst of it all, they are losing their sense of meaning and direction to life.

How could we find God’s will as Youth in this discouraging and oppressive environment where our parents, politicians and religious leaders are increasingly becoming permissive, reckless, careless, unethical, or downright cruel, and are not the least sorry about it? The beautiful Biblical story of Joseph, the favorite child of Rachel and Jacob in Genesis chapters 39, 40 and 41 gives us possible godly answers to our questions, decisions and choices. His jealous half-brothers hated him so much that they sold him into slavery, went through hard labor in Egypt and yet survived. People cannot imagine how God Could possibly bring good out of their situation. But He does it every day says Dr. Charles Stanley in the InTouch Magazine. Let us consider the principles Joseph exemplified which are still effective to us Youth today:

1.       Don’t be afraid,  but fear God: Despite his hostile environment, Joseph never let anxiety about offending his boss or losing his Job rule him. Instead He chose to fear only God. Psalm 34:9 reminds us that ‘those who fear him will have all they need.’ Joseph was motivated by the desire to honor the Lord. People and even Pharaoh noticed him.

2.       Speak the Truth: When Joseph warned Pharaoh of the horrible famine God revealed would soon ravaged Egypt, he did not soft-pedal the truth. In today’s dire economy, Joseph’s circumstances remind us to speak up clearly and with Courage. Choosing the right time and positive words, you can honestly confront a problem by telling the truth.

3.       Do the right thing: When Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Joseph, he rejected her outright. ‘My master trusts me. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God’. (Genesis 39:8-9). Always choose right, even when nobody is watching. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to honor and glorify God. God  honors efforts that are focused on pleasing Him.

4.       Flee Evil: If your work situation offers no alternative but  to compromise your values, leave! Joseph fled from Potiphar’s house, literally running away from his boss’s promiscuous wife. Corporate scandals, internet porn, and workplace temptations are prevalent today, and you may feel compelled to stay in a job where sin reigns, but do not yield to pressure. Look for another placement elsewhere; God has something better for you.

5.       Know your strengths: When the false accusation by Potiphar’s wife landed him in jail, Joseph chose to make the best of it and glorified God by working diligently. So know your strengths and use your gifts and abilities to benefit others in any way possible. Your purpose in the place God has called you to serve goes far beyond fulfilling basic responsibilities.

6.       Give the Lord Credit: Joseph did not boast about his gifts. He gave credit to God. When his fellow prisoners were distressed by their dreams, He pointed them toward his source of help. ‘Interpreting dreams is God’s business,’ he assured them (Genesis 40:8).

7.       Be patient: Joseph was in prison two long years before his hard, faithful work was rewarded (Genesis 41:1). Through Joseph’s years of service and endurance, the Lord had prepared him to lead a nation and save it from tragedy.

8.       Forgive: Joseph forgave his brothers for selling him into slavery. ‘Am I God that I can punish you?’ ‘You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.’ Genesis 50:19-20). So instead of harboring bitterness or the desire for revenge, forgive those who hurt you; and stop to consider how the Lord might be using someone’s negative actions towards you for good.

9.       Glorify God: Even in his new promoted position and job, Joseph did not forget that the Lord was still the source of all good things. He named his second son Ephraim (fruitfulness), acknowledging that God has made me fruitful in this land of my grief (Genesis 41:52). Joseph teaches us what it means to put the Lord first in both good times and bad.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I think that by productive and creative investment in human knowledge and youth skills acquisition programs, peace and development could be attained. In order to eradicate youth violence and hostility in the society, the society needs to invest more in the areas that will benefit and develop Nigerian youths, which will automatically give strength to the nation’s political, economic, social, and geographic as well as cultural/ethnic issues and reduce the incidence of violence. Therefore, we must collectively unite to fight youth unemployment, ignorance and poverty, and to eradicate violence in the heart of our people. Now is the time to act!

Rev. Fr. Michael Adefemi Adegbola, Director Media Service Centre, Kaduna Nigeria 2011

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[1] Dorothy G. Singer; Jerome L. Singers Editors; Handbook of Children and the Media, 692N4.